Muharram
1433 was somewhat a revolutionary occurrence in the Sajjad household this year.
First off, Alhamdhulillah we were able to see this holy month once again this
year, commemorating the tragedy of Imam al Hussain (as) once more, and with
increasing sincerity. There is not a feeling in the entire Universe that
soothes and satisfies the soul like shedding tears for Aba Abdillah (as). The
way the spirit of Muharram binds us as a community, serving this one cause is like
no other.
Growing up,
like many youngsters, I did not appreciate the true value of this treasure. I
thought it would be enough to physically attend traditional Urdu majalis at our
local mosque. Having no regard to the spiritual or emotional aspect of Muharram,
I would spend the nights in mindless chatter and behaviour. My ignorant teenage
years. However, as the years went on, I grew as a person. I matured being placed
in different environments, surrounded by different people. At times life
presented me with the most unexpected scenarios, were they in the form of
sudden deaths, academic failures, bickering family members or disloyal friends,
I decided enough was enough. I was sick and tired of this routinely, selfish
lifestyle I followed putting everything else in my life before Allah (swt).
So, one
November evening I plucked up the courage to ask my dad if I would be allowed
to attend these gatherings, travelling one hour to the other side of London, in
the blistering cold weather, during awkward hours of the night. And just like
that he said “yes”. Not a second thought was given. I just thought Subhanallah,
how decisions are swayed in the name of Imam al Hussain (as), that even someone
as stubborn as my father would surrender at the mention of this great
personality. (I know it seems a bit petty, but if you knew my dad, you’d understand...)
Indeed Allah (swt) is the best of planners.
Accompanied
by my brother, we set off plodding our way up the high road towards the station
to attend our first Muharram majlis of 1433. It was cold, dark and wet, but
worth every step for Aba Abdillah (as). The struggle made our remembrance that little
bit sweeter.
The lectures
recited by the honourable Sayed Hossein Al-Qazwini were absolutely brilliant. He
covered a range of extremely relevant topics over the 10 nights. Great structure
of delivery for the English-speaking/youth/reverts of our community.
Sayed Hossein Al-Qazwini |
Asalam Majlis - Scout House |
8th,
9th and 10th Muharram aside, the eve of the first of
Muharram, in my opinion, was the most blessed night. I read a line that night
that couldn’t be more befitting: “After a year of being drowned in falsehood,
beauty emerges...” and how beautiful a gathering it was in honour of Fatima al
Aleela (sa) (Lady Fatima Sughra), the daughter of Imam al Hussain (as) who was
unable to accompany her family to Karbala due to her illness. It was a very
different experience to the typical Urdu majalis I had been attending up to now.
This year our local centre hosted the lovely Maulana Ghulam Hussain Adeel of
Hidayat TV (Sky 803), which I had the honour of listening to only on the 10th
of Muharram. May I add, it was the most heartbreaking recital of the Maqtal I’ve
ever listened to in my entire life. Post Ashura, whenever I was alone, I’d just
sit and close my eyes. I’d remember Maulana Adeel’s voice that day and all the
raw emotion displayed through it – I’ll never forget. Just like that, the 10
days flew by as if they never came. All the
stress, all the numbness, all emotions released. How I wanted to relive those
days all over again, only Allah (swt) knows. Even until Arba3een and Eid al
Zahra (marking the end of the mourning period), I was not ready to let go so
easily. I wanted to live and die eternally in this grief, in this beautiful darkness.
My best
attempt to keep this remembrance alive within me was though recitation of Ziyarat
Ashura:
Peace be upon you O’ Aba Abdillah!
And the souls that clustered in your presence
Upon you, from me, the Salaam of Allah
Forever, so long as I live and as
long as the days and nights endure...
And may Allah not make this the last
Ziyarat of mine
Peace be upon you O’ Hussain, and
upon Ali the son of Hussain,
And upon the sons of Hussain, and
upon the companions of Hussain.
***
O’ Allah! To you belongs all praise,
the praise of the grateful to You on their afflictions
All praise is to Allah on the
greatness of my grief
O’ Allah! Grant me the intercession
of Hussain on the Day of Arrival
And keep me steadfast, a firm footing
before You with Hussain & the companions of Hussain
Peace be upon those who gave their life
without regret for Hussain (ع)
Initially I
decided to recite it for 40 days, but it eventually became a habit for me and I
lost track of the days. Reciting this ziyara after Salatil Fajr made my heart smile, it’s the reason
I cry.
Finding solace in the sanctuary of
Aba Abdillah (as) meant my desire to visit the holy lands increased day by day.
My decision was made. I wanted to be at one with my Beloved. Each and every thought
of mine now belonged to karbala. How the dormant volcano of my heart finally
erupted, overflowing with my love and longing to visit these pure lands.
Imam Ja’far al Sadiq (as) states: “When
Allah (swt) wants to favour a believer, He puts in his heart a yearning to
visit Imam al Hussain (as).”
No words of mine shall ever suffice
this yearning and anguish deep within my heart. I can only pray Allah unites me
with my Master, and soon.
“Can one who the heart has
stolen...be worlds apart from his servant?”
Allahuma Irzoqna Ziyarat al Hussain
(ع)